All of you desi ladies and lads know that desi family gatherings with aunts, uncles and distant relatives are inevitable until and unless you save enough to run away forever or die. Mind me not, family gatherings can be fun too, but only if you are a baby flaunted by parents or old enough to know how to hit on target.
But you mid-age struggling kids are the target and aunts and uncles just know how to trigger insecurities, the right way. Yes, I too am the target. Target is me.
And today, TARGET is here with some tips on how not to be a target.
1. Don’t go I Repeat DON’T
The first and very effective way is “Avoid going to family gatherings”. The best way is to hide somewhere. I don’t know where, maybe in your drawer, closet, laundry basket and in Upside Down from ‘Stranger Things’. Furthermore, pretend to be sick or you have lots of homework to do. Mostly it works.
2. Smile and Smile. Even if it’s killing you, Smile
By any chance, your Mom forcefully takes you there, first of all, greet everyone with a big smile. Do not reply to any stupidity, but just smile like a dumb kid they think you are. Even if the house caught fire don’t do anything but SMILE. Smile is your second weapon for this menacing voyage.
3. Stay away from ‘Khandani Siyasat’
RUN…. wherever you see a group of desi aunties sitting just run. Run for your life, because if you interrupt or take part in this khandani siyasat you will get addicted to this. Better to STAY AWAY. If you randomly get hit by questions like ‘beta kitny marks ae?’ or ‘Shaadi kab kr rhy ho’, just look at your mother and smile.
4. Don’t give your opinion
Here is one thing you should keep the most in control. No one needs your opinion on breaking khandaani stereotypes. Unless you want to be the target of public shaming, backbiting and ofcourse ‘letting your mother down’ just nod to what they say. Even if your opinion is requested, remember to look at your mother before letting out those ‘loose liberal thoughts’.
5. Better do some chores
To avoid all the siyasatain and discussions the only way out is to help the host in some chores. If you are a boy then, better help in bringing ‘Rotiyan’ from ‘Tandoor’. Spend more time outside of the side so you can save yourself. If you are a girl then the only escape is KITCHEN, go to kitchen help there in washing dishes, cutting salad and decorating the desserts. Whatever you do but stay in the kitchen as long as you can. This is sure going to earn you the pride of your parents much more than your Instagram followers.
6. Say yes to every ‘Mashwara’
Everyone in Desi family feels that showering you with ‘Muft Mashwaras’ is their moral duty. They can give you mashwara on everything literally everything whether it’s about your personal life, love life, married life, education, dressing, food habits and even about bathroom habits. They are the true encyclopedias. Just shut your ears for a while and say yes.
It’s just a bit of killing yourself, but rest assured your mom will be proud. Shout out for all the TARGETS. If you have anything to share. Kindly comment below!